How Peanut the Squirrel Might Get Revenge on New York’s Gun Control Laws

Peanut the squirrel
Peanut the squirrel (image: Mark Longo)

A few weeks ago, Peanut the Squirrel was murdered by New York state officials. The great minds who run the Department of Environmental Conservation (NYSDEC) would probably object to me saying this and perhaps even claim that I’m libeling them for expressing my opinion, but let’s be real here. They took an animal that wasn’t harming anyone and killed it. Killing without some good reason is murder.

Sure, the law in New York can and no doubt will be used as an excuse, but if the goal is to protect wildlife, killing a tame squirrel makes no sense. Hitler’s concentration camps were “legal” too, so let’s not pretend that law is any substitute for morality here. 

If that act of naked aggression and intimidation wasn’t heinous enough, now New York state officials are trying to charge Peanut’s owner, Mark Longo, with a firearm crime. Details are still pretty sketchy, but while conducting a search using with their morally illegitimate warrant, agents of the government who were ostensibly there to seize a couple of wild animals (don’t forget about the over victim in this sad story, Fred the raccoon) came across a firearm in the home.

The way it the gun has been described in media, it’s likely an AR or AK pistol of some kind (short barrel, no stock). Under New York law, that constitutes an “assault weapon.” Now, the state is considering charging the owner with a crime for possessing it without permission.

You can learn more about this in this video by attorney Mark W. Smith at the Four Boxes Diner . . .

As Smith points out, search warrants for a squirrel aren’t supposed to allow a for a search for weapons, but if in the normal process of searching for the animals, agents of the state come across evidence of another crime, it can be used as evidence. But there needs to be a presumption of unlawfulness to begin with before there’s any basis for seizure, further search, or further warrants. The mere presence of a firearm can’t be presumed to be illegal and checking on whether the firearm is legal could violate the Fourth Amendment.

Legalities aside, though there’s a bigger question here: is it smart for New York law enforcement officials to pursue a gun charge against Longo? It seems the state is wondering the same thing and has, at least for now, tapped  the brakes on little PR disaster. 

There’s no way cops to charge every person who’s ever committed a crime. That would be impossible. Resources are limited and we expect the government to exercise basic prosecutorial discretion to focus on crimes and conduct that are really important. That discretion can be used for just about any reason, with good cops almost always choosing to not bring the legal hammer down on individuals over small, inconsequential things like possessing a squirrel without a permit.

With all of the bad press the state has already suffered for the immoral act (again…my opinion) of murdering an innocent squirrel, it makes no sense to kick this hornet’s nest. After all, they can expect not only the squirrel’s 500,000 fans to pitch in on Longo’s legal defense, but because they’d be trying to enforce a law that plainly violates the Heller and NYSRPA v Bruen opinions, bringing in just about every pro-gun organization in the country. So, even more bad press heading into a fight that could go all the way to the Supreme Court…all because of a squirrel. 

Mark Longo and Peanut
Mark Longo and Peanut in happier times (image: Mark Longo)

The smart move here be to enforce the state’s ludicrously restrictive firearms laws very carefully, use them only against dirtbags, gang-bangers, murderers, and people who talk on their phones in movie theaters. That wouldn’t keep those plainly unconstitutional laws on the books forever, but it might make them last longer than if they go up against a sympathetic defendant like Mark Longo. But, rushing into this action against Peanut’s family while screaming, “LEEEROOY JENNNKIIINNNNS!” doesn’t make a lot of sense strategically. 

If New York’s powers that be really are stupid enough to go after Peanut’s family on this — and there’s no reason to believe they aren’t — they not only will get their anti-gun butts handed to them in court, but they’ll deserve to be ravaged by all of the furies of PR hell they’ll raise along the way.

Either way, it seems that Peanut may get the last laugh.

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25 thoughts on “How Peanut the Squirrel Might Get Revenge on New York’s Gun Control Laws”

    1. Not so fast Chris! Did you know that P’nut the squirrel was MAGA? I know it sounds odd. I didn’t realize that non-human animals could have political affiliations, but apparently they do. If anything, I would assume they were progressive since most will poop on the sidewalk without hesitation. That’s a very progressive thing to do. Anyway, political pundit, and noted TDS sufferer, Jen Rubin, tweeted out, “The MAGA squirrel deserved to die.” True story. She deleted the X tweet, but as they say, the internet is forever.
      https://x.com/DefiantWorld/status/1852884087121314255?mx=2

      1. This is p[art of the left wing mental illness on display – they think everyone not them deserves to die. Gotta be pretty mentally sick person to wish death upon people and pets.

        I guess maybe Peanut left a sort of legacy… when the jackbooted thugs of New York came for him he tired his best to defend himself and bit the thugs glove, and also Peanut outstaged Kamala.

    2. Not likely re the owner and most of us that have been pushing since Bruen. With that said we are going to push this as hard as we can because fuck them and fuck commies. Even if it was an illegal short barreled rifle (more likely an AR pistol) there is plenty of nonsense just at NY state level to attract and the various GoFundMe variants this case will attract will be hilarious especially when cute animals are combined with civil liberties.

      1. Geoff "I'm getting too old for this shit" PR

        “Even if it was an illegal short barreled rifle (more likely an AR pistol)…”

        Does NY state have a SPECIFIC no SBR law on the books? That could get the owner in hot water with the state, than the simple pistol brace classification by the NFA.

        Either way, JUSTICE FOR P’nut!!! 😉

        1. We do and have even before Bruen (no sbr, sbs, suppressor, or full auto). Our latest set of nonsense made black powder firearms play by modern firearm rules so lot of illegal sbr muzzleloader issues.

  1. “immoral act (again…my opinion) of murdering an innocent squirrel”

    For cripes sake Jennifer, quit apologizing for calling it what it was.

    1. And evidently if we could access your computer we could view that pic…

      The ‘link’ you posted is on the C drive of your computer. We can’t view it.

      1. .40
        I was afraid it would not be viewable.
        The picture is a possum on my patio table taken after dark one evening.
        Also, I have a picture of an alligator sunning on a bayou bank taken from my truck as I dined at a Sonic one afternoon and other creature pictures near humans at the sheriff’s shooting range.

        1. We have a gentleman possum on our back patio now & then, cleaning up any peanuts that the jays missed. He’s well-behaved, quite unlike the rabblerouser coons that are under an eradication order. I shooed away a skunk one evening a week ago. The wife would be moving if she saw that guy up with her flowers…

          1. We have some raccoons around here that think they live in the house.

            Our neighbor had one get in and didn’t know it. She was watching a horror movie in the darkened room and noticed the sofa pillow was moving by its self in her peripheral vision.

            When she looked straight at it these little eyes were staring back at her.

            We had one sneak in a few months back.

          2. The other night I heard what sounded like someone walking on the deck. I looked out, and it was two raccoons wrestling. A third was off to the side just hanging out.

        2. Geoff "Possums are remarkable critters" PR

          “The picture is a possum on my patio table taken after dark one evening.”

          Our Possum?

          1. Word on the street in China is that he recently failed to get elected. So he’s an ex elected official, if you know what I mean.

          2. Geoff "I'm getting too old for this shit" PR

            China is weird, sometimes officials can actually retire instead of being bumped-off…

  2. Note that Peanut was a melanistic squirrel, that is an overpigmented gray squirrel as opposed to its opposite, an albino squirrel. Yes, a black squirrel. No one but me is remarking that Peanut was a BLACK squirrel! Not the George Lloyd of squirrels but well-behaved and not a dealer in illicit nuts, a credit to his species and variety.
    . Turns out black squirrels seem to be common in western ÑY, in 2001 in Syracuse I saw whole blocks full of nothing but Black squirrels.

  3. “…but they’ll deserve to be ravaged by all of the furies of PR hell they’ll raise along the way.”

    Parsed that as “furries” when I first read it. Them being ravaged by furries would be kind of appropriate. (Though some of them might not see it as punishment…)

  4. “Killing without some good reason is murder.”

    Fixed it for you:
    “Killing a human being unlawfully and unjustifiably is murder.”

    We have to respect the meaning of words, or their meaning will be lost.

    1. so Margaret Miner49er using your ‘Fixed it for you’ very wrong assumption that Jennifer and the rest of us don’t already know what the law says in words… and jennifer uses the basic and fundamental root meaning understood the world over of the word ‘murder’ used generally-representational for its (partial) foundational etymology of the word meaning ‘secret slaughter” or ‘slaying’ that was used in reference to any living thing animal or human. So in respecting “the meaning of words” to not lose the meaning of the word ‘murder’ — Peanut was murdered.

  5. Once you have been identified as an official Enemy of the State, your so-called “rights” are revoked and you have no recourse. Anything and everything done against you is justified “for the common good.” And as people such as Jen Rubin have stated, Peanut was a “MAGA squirrel” who deserved to die.

    And if they’ll do it to a squirrel and a raccoon, they’ll do it to you too. That’s how they will create a better world, built upon love, tolerance, diversity, and inclusion.

  6. I want to see everyone involved in this from whatever official made the decision all the way down to every single individual involved in the search and enforcement fired, prosecuted, and jailed. Extreme consequences will be the oy useful deterrence.

  7. Isn’t this a sign of the end times? Tame squirrels get targeted so the police and search your house? Very soon they’ll be targeting cat owners for not keeping them on leashes in order to look at bank statements.

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