On this semiquincentennial, be happy you’re not a snaggletoothed Europoor sweltering in state-mandated misery because air conditioning apparently creates too much individual comfort for mere peasants to enjoy. It’s been two and a half centuries since we had to live under the yoke of that kind of tyranny and we were able to throw it off because we, the people, had access to military-grade firearms.
So raise a glass today, bite into a burger and launch a bottle rocket or two while giving thanks for the genius of our Founding Fathers that has endured for 250 years. We’re not perfect — no nation is — but we continue to be the envy of the world. Still. May it ever be so.
Oh, and if you need some inspiration for American things to be thankful for, read Ira Stoll’s list of 250 Things We Love About America.