Personal Defense Tip: Don’t Insert Yourself Into Stupid Situations

If you’re reading this, odds are good you’ve heard of John Farnam’s Rules of Stupid before. Basically, don’t go stupid places with stupid people and do stupid things. That may seem pretty obvious—as in, don’t go wandering through a dark alley at night, butt-naked and whistling Dixie—but there’s a lot more to it than that. Some places that qualify as stupid might not appear that way at first. But have no fear, we’re here to help, and we have an example for you fresh from the newswire.

Thanks to the weird way the news works now, this event took place over a week ago before it started making the rounds. It took place in Taylor, Michigan, part of the Detroit metro area where the rate of violent crime is higher the national average (try to contain your shock). Within that city lies the Southland Mall, a spot with its own reputation for violence.

Here’s the story from Law & Crime:

A Michigan woman shopping at a Kids Foot Locker with children allegedly went berserk after someone behind her in line called her a “broke b—” because her card got declined, leading to her stabbing a teenager who was at the store…

But wait, there’s more.

[Stabbing victim Suniya] Jenkins insists she was not the one who reportedly made the statement about the suspect being a “broke b—” but says she did enter the Foot Locker to see what was going on after hearing a commotion.

“I think it was unfair to me to get stabbed,” Jenkins told WJBK…. “To start, I was stabbed four times and I have a punctured lung right now.”

The gist of the story is that “someone” mocked a 40-year-old woman in the store after her card was declined. That woman had her children with her and apparently didn’t appreciate the commentary:

“As the argument got verbal, she put her hand in her purse and proceeded to tell me she was going to shoot me,” Jenkins alleged. “I did not see or even know I was stabbed until after the physical altercation.”

I’m just guessing here, but I’m going to say it’s possible the stabbing victim said something like, “Then shoot me, b—-.” Again, that’s just a hunch. Unsurprisingly, the attacker…attacked her, pulling what Fox 2 Detroit reports as a kitchen knife. Stabby stupidity then ensued.

Before you accuse me of making light of a serious situation—and really, you should expect that from me—keep in mind the factors at play here. In numerous news reports of the incident, the victim here relays to reporters that she was “walking by” when she heard the ruckus. And that was her cue to insert herself into the situation.

It’s worth noting some eyewitnesses report the victim was already in the store and was, indeed, the person who made the snarky comment to the soon-to-be-knife-wielding attacker. Are eyewitnesses inherently flaky on details? Yes, but that’s really beside the point here.

Whether the 19-year-old victim inserted herself by 1) entering the store and approaching the scene of what would soon become the crime or 2) was already in line and ran her mouth isn’t the primary issue here. First and foremost is the simple issue that she made herself available for stabbing. And before you say, oh no, now you’re victim-shaming, let’s be real. It’s always stupid to provoke a high-risk incident and even stupider to decide to wander into one.

“So what,” you say, “Am I supposed to flee the immediate area, tossing my purchases wildly as I go?” Yes, basically. When things are going south, get your happy ass out of there. Avoid the confrontation entirely. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.

It’s true that it isn’t normal for a grown woman to be carrying a kitchen knife in her purse. There’s also no way at all to know who around you is armed, legally, illegally, or irrationally weirdly. A kitchen knife, ice pick, skateboard…they’ve all been used as deadly weapons at some point.

As for the fact the victim admits that her attacker warned her, well, that’s another issue. Is it entirely possible the victim couldn’t have gotten away in time? Of course, but it’s just as likely the 19-year-old girl not only stood her ground, but got in the woman’s face after the woman threatened to shoot her. Surely there’s video footage of what happened out there and if anyone has it, I’d love to see it. Please post a link in the comments.

So now it’s time to add to the Rules of Stupid. The fourth part should be, “Don’t stay in stupid places when stupid things are developing.”

Maybe you went somewhere you don’t consider to be stupid at all, although if that place is a mall, I’d beg to differ. Still, you went there, and you either hear the beginning signs of an altercation or it’s taking place right in front of you, in line at the register. Is your first inclination to you whip out your phone and press record? Or do you vacate the premises with all possible speed?

Please tell me you’ll choose the latter.

The circumstances in which you should stick your nose into potentially dangerous business are very few and far between. Generally speaking, that’s a stupid thing to do, and you’re exacerbating it with your refusal to engage your brain and GTFO.

For those brave few (*cough* idiots *cough*) whose defense for being stupid it that God is on your side, I have news for you. God may be with you, but He didn’t call on you to be stupid, He expects you to use the brain He gave you to the best of your abilities.

What, then, did we learn today? If there’s one takeaway, it’s not to insert ourselves into stupid situations. And also, not to run our mouths, initiating and possibly challenge a potential threat when they give us what is, quite frankly, fair warning.

Long story short…walk away. Get out. Your pride, your ego, or your weird sense of “respect” isn’t worth your life. Or put more simply, just don’t be stupid. Let’s leave it at that, shall we?