We sat at the very back [of a porn theater], in case there were some maniacs in there. It was mostly men, a couple of women alone, no couples. Me and my girlfriend was sittin’ in the back, so we were goin’ to make a quick exit if we needed to, and then this movie came on. It looked okay for a few minutes, and all of a sudden, it got into the most gross things.
I didn’t know how to react and she didn’t, either. We were embarrassed in front of each other, we didn’t know whether to look or not. We were so curious we couldn’t keep from lookin’. I didn’t know how to react with her.
If I had Carl there or somethin’, we might have got down to business. So we ran out and we started runnin’, so nobody would know where we came from. At that time, we didn’t know that prostitutes ran in pairs in New York City for protection. And there is no way in the world that you can catch a cab on a Friday night in New York City. We didn’t know that.
All of a sudden, these men started approachin’ us on the street. They thought we were up for sale. You can imagine how ridiculous I looked. I would look like a streetwalker if you didn’t know this was an image. I would look like a total whore, I suppose. I’m sure we looked just like what they thought we were. But I had a gun. I never traveled without a gun, still don’t. I always carry a gun.
Playboy: What kind?
Parton: A .38 pistol. I have a permit for it in Nashville. I just carry it for protection. I feel safer when I’ve got it. I just don’t like the idea of knowin’ I’m totally helpless. I’m always scared in a big city and New York was totally foreign to us.
Anyhow, these men would approach us and I’d say we’re from out of town. We didn’t understand why they were after us. I said we were waitin’ on a cab and weren’t interested, but thanks for the compliment. [Laughing]
I was doin’ all the talkin’, because my girlfriend always knew I’d get us out of any situation, and she started laughin’ at me. That made me mad, because I was so scared! This one man came at me and he was really pullin’ at me, he was tryin’ to handle me, just maul me, the whole works.
I told him, “Just get away and don’t bother me anymore.” He kept sayin’, “Oh, come on, honey, I know you want it.” He was offerin’ us money and I said, “Look, I don’t know what it is, we are not interested, we are not on the make, we are tryin’ to get home, don’t you understand that?”
There I was, with my big Southern accent and my big wig. He just thought if he bargained long enough that I’d give in. He kept pullin’ at me and I was getting furious and I was cussin’ him, and I don’t cuss that much. I was sayin’, “You son of a bitch, you dirty bastard!”
Just things like that is not like me at all, but I was terrified, and I was mad, too, because I can’t stand people who pull at me unless I want to be pulled at. And my girlfriend was against the wall, dyin’ laughing. We could have both been raped or killed, but she was gettin’ such a kick, because she’d never seen this side of me before.
I got furious at her and I told her, I said, “Boy, you just better stop laughing or I’m gonna beat the shit out of you too!” And I got my gun out of my pocketbook. I told the man, “If you put your hands on me one more time, I swear to God that I will shoot you.” And I would have. I wouldn’t have shot him in the stomach or nothin’, I would have shot his feet off or shot at the ground.
My girlfriend was just hollerin’, laugh-in’ and, boy, I told her when we got rid of him, “If you ever do that to me again, I swear to you I may not whup your ass, but I’ll be caught dead tryin’.” [Laughing] She never did quit laughin’, she just thought that was the funniest thing she’d ever seen. We headed out to a porno movie and it wound up bein’ a comedy.
— Lawrence Grobel in Playboy’s 1978 interview with Dolly Parton